Down Thoughts

Sometimes I just decided to do something so that I won't feel so lonely, but happiness won't last long and it is gone in a blink of an eye.. Companions made me feel like i'm not alone but some harsh words or unfriendly treatment would definitely bring me down.. I have fallen again.. Down and down and down.. Maybe I don't deserve to have such a full time caring heart, becoz it is definitely a waste if such a good heart is with me.. I should donate it to another person who has more friend or caring friend compare with me.. Well, how to train myself to shut up?! I just can't control myself to talk coz I don't like to be alone.. Everyday stay at home already knew how does it feel like, now at college or other places I hope I can enjoy the life I want rather than just forcing myself to shut up.. What should I do?! Maybe I should just practice how to shut up to see how's the "market" work...