I'm Coming Home

6.30pm, its raining outside..
My brother n his gf is going to airport now..
My brother gives me AUD 100 just now and he say he gonna take back when i transfer my money to him next time..
=.= I just realise I will lose a lot in future if I took the AUD 100..
BUT I TOOK IT!
So can I return him next time?! LOL

Just now, I take the umbrella from my mom when she is going into the car..
I feel like, I gonna be lonely again..
This kind of feelings is sooooooo evil..
They always occupy my mind..
Scared.. Cried.. Droped.. Dried..
This cycle used to repeat on my face when I think back my past..

Likes "I'm Coming Home" very very much!

"I'm Coming Home I'm Coming Home
Tell the world I'm Coming Home
Let the rain wash away, all the pain of yesterday
I know my Kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm Coming Home I'm Coming Home
Tell the world that I'm Coming Home..."

Bro n Sis in law! See both of you next Chinese New Year!
Now I hope time flies and reach that day by tmr.. LOL?
Feel like crying again..

Problem in my mind

Just now, my brother told me a lot of ways to apply the scholarship..
My head is going to explode soon! There are few ways available for me right now.
He tell me that last time he only got 1 choice and the decision consumed lot of time!
N now i got few ways for me to try out.. which mean double or triple of his work?!
O.M.G
Sigh.. If i were born in a rich family,
I do not have to worry about the scholarship n i might be studying oversea right?!
Since this is my fate, should I go on or should I put it aside first?
I feel so nervous and I can't have my mind calm down a little bit..
What should I do?!

价值观

只懂得投诉及批评不代表些什么，到了真正发生事情的时候才知道什么是失策！

This is human nature..
No matter who you are..
How saintly you are..
How clever you are..
How careful you are..
There will also got chances you do something wrong!

要是当初你关心多点，会搞到这么狼狈吗？

不懂的分辨是非黑白真正对错，好难对某些事物做出一个合理的结论。。
不同的人有不同的观念，无论谁对谁错，外人难以明白也不便评论。。

一個人臉上太多的笑是因為心裡有太多的痛

Copied from other's articles.. Only what I wanted to say I post here..

總有一些人，他們看上去整天都很開心，嘻嘻哈哈的，

沒有煩惱，像個小孩，他們會說玩是我最大的樂趣，我很喜歡玩，我什麼都會玩。人多的時候他們臉上總掛著笑容，好多人都會羨慕他們，然而這其實是他們最悲哀的地方，他們不想讓別人看到自己難過的一面，更沒有能力一個人獨處，因為當夜深人靜的時候，他不知道一個人會發生什麼事，坐在窗前冥想走過的點滴。

沒有人讀的懂他們，想著想著貌似快樂的他們就會黯然流下一臉的悲傷，然後自己對自己說：「其實也沒什麼，命運吧！」所以他們就整天逼自己笑，以此來逃避那些常人所不能不承受的痛苦!

他們貌似很堅強，因為在別人看來，他們什麼事都能微笑著去面對，但事實上他們長著世界上最脆弱的心靈，只是長期的偽裝使得別人很難發現他們內心深處的創傷。

他們其實非常孤獨，雖然看到他們時都是在跟一群人談天說地，那是因為他們實在不能承受一個人時的折磨！

他們只想簡簡單單、快快樂樂的活著，期待並且相信每個人給的笑容都是真心的，希望身邊的人都是真正的喜歡自己。即使別人小小的意見，也會另他們難過好久，他們真的真的很介意，介意自己不被人喜歡。因為，他們總是為別人想的很多，對別人總是比對自己好; 把能對喜歡的人好當做幸福，喜歡別人比喜歡自己多。

他們總是那樣，前一秒還傷心的流著淚，後一秒出現在朋友面前的時候，已經滿臉溢著燦爛的笑容。有人說他們是向日葵，是的，他們在意的人就像是太陽，在面對太陽的時候永遠是明艷的花瓣，而太陽照不到的背面，那悲傷藏得那麼好，不願被看見。

他們嚮往放縱自由的生活，卻必須為了誰很努力的朝另外的一個方向活著，很累很累，卻仍是心甘情願。離自己的夢境越來越來遠，不得不面對從未想過的爭奪和複雜，心慌、不知所措。只有面對最信賴的人時，才會卸下盔甲，委屈的流下眼淚。

因為在他們心裡，笑就是開心，哭就是難過，接近就是喜歡，遠離就是討厭。

但其實不是，他們明白了，心好傷，眼淚就沒忍住。

哭過之後，笑笑得擦乾眼淚，說，沒關係，我可以做的很好的。

他們好像無所不能，好像總是不會有煩惱，好像什麼問題都能輕而易舉的解決，總是喜歡喜歡出現在流淚的人面前，笑嘻嘻的逗著笑。而面對自己的問題，他們卻茫然無措，面對自己的悲傷，他們只會躲在人們看不見的角落裡慢慢由傷口越裂越大。

他們的想法非常簡單，說出來的就是心裡所想的，肚子裡不會拐七道八道的小彎，無心的話可能會引起別人的誤解。所以，請別記恨他們，他們從不願傷害誰，小小的錯誤就能讓他們懊悔很久。

心声谁听明？

我今年二十七八岁，
偶尔会有寂寞，偶尔会挂念一个人。。。

我今年二十七八岁，
回想起曾经，
我们做了太多的错事，
走了太多的弯路，
我们总在后悔，
可是我们回不去了，
回不去那个纯真的年代了。

我今年二十七八岁，
明明很想哭，却还在笑。
明明很在乎，却装作无所谓。
明明很想留下，却坚定的说要离开。
明明很痛苦，却遍遍说自己很幸福。
明明忘不掉，却说已经忘了。
明明放不下，却说她是她，我是我。
明明舍不得，却说我已经受够了。
明明说的是违心的假话，却说那是自己的真心话。
明明眼泪都快溢出眼眶，却高昂着头。
明明已经无法挽回，却依旧执着着。
明明知道自己很受伤，却说你不必觉得欠我的。
明明伪装着很累，却还得依旧。。。。。。

为的只是隐藏起自己的脆弱，
即使很难过，
也会装得无所谓。。。
只是不愿别人看见自己的伤口，
不想让自己周围的人担心，
不想让别人同情自己。。。
只想在心底独自承受，
虽然心疼得难以呼吸，
却笑着告诉所有人“我没事的！”

然后静下来时，
自己便笑自己，
何必把自己伪装得那么坚强,
好像自己可以承受所有的苦难。。。
呵呵，好累。。。好累。。。

Link Ur Mind to My Mind

Can you imagine that,
a person who hold his tears becoz he dont want to show others his weak side..
But when he met a person who he think their souls are linked,
he showed the weak side..
Its hard for a person to show their weakness in front of the others,
this is one of the human natural which they wanted to protect themselves so badly..
If they failed to do so, they might just ended their life easily..

Smile,
sometimes, people take it as a welcome;
sometimes, people use it to cover scar;
sometimes, people make it as a weapon;
sometimes, people abandon it and adopted tears.

N I wanted to use it to hide all the miseries..

圣经与神经之别

无奈的心情给了我无穷的伤感。。。
如何把你从我心底彻底清除呢？？？
到底有没有任何极苦良药，
还是盲婆熬的盲婆汤可喝，
只为了一件事就足以把我推倒。。。
好累啊！好累呀！好累了！
不想再想，不敢再想，不要再想。。
只想忘记，只想忘掉，只想忘了。。
孙燕姿想当个隐形人，
叮当想做小小小小鸟，
艾薇儿大声高唱无知，
刘德华只叫杯忘情水，
我只想尽情畅快发泄，
是时候把我的头撞向墙壁倒头大睡！

Believe

The first news I received few months/weeks ago, I felt like Thx god for giving my neighbour a chance..
Just now my mom tell me that my neighbour actually opened her eyes but she cant move..
Why... Why is this world so unfair?
She always cook or take something for my family.. She's a great neighbour..
But have to suffer from this kind of pain..
Why always not fair? What is moral?! I don't want to learn something like this..
Open ur eyes and tell lie.. WHY!?
Why we must learn how to lie?
Speechless..
What can i believe?!
Myself?!

Loner

Just now when i was taking bath.. I'm scared..
My mind suddenly think of what if I become a loner again..
I don't wanted to become a loner again..

Everyday waiting someone to come across my mind
and everyday waiting the time to pass..
Everyday waiting something to motivate my body
and everyday waiting for tears to drop off from my eyes..

Scared to become a loner again..
That 5 years is my darkest nightmare...
It makes me unbreathable, unmotivated and hoping for a bright sunray from cracks in my room..

Embarrassing when ur fren drunk

Today! 2 months anniversary!
I was drinking red wine at my fren's house and she was invited to attend the "opening work ceremony" by her mom's boss..

=/

My fren drunk and kept on hitting my head or whatever.. Feel like slaping her! = =
A day that ruin my reputation! haha!