A Good Dream from Santa Claus

Just now I got a dream, I was moving into a big building belongs to TARC. Should it be a hostel? I think so. It is big, got 4 floors! It was totally empty when I first walk in.

Ground floor has few connected rooms, got kitchen got bathroom got bedrooms and so on. I was given a big room, inside got 2 bed, BIG bed! Another one is for JIN WEI. lol! My classrep now. Both of us shift into that hostel together.

I am so happy at last I can move into a place that belongs to me. When I think of I am going to be alone later when they back home, I comfort myself I also got plenty of places can go.

Go back outside, look around the building. From no people, second floor 3rd floor n 4th floor start appearing shadow. =.= SHADOWS!

Look at ground floor, NOTHING! Then, again look up there. GOT human. Owh! Look ground floor again, got human too now. LOL!

Then I wake up from my dream. I wanted to move out from my house so badly? Haha! Maybe.

Idiot's Thought

2am where do i begin?
Crying off my face again...
The sound of loneliness,
Wants to follow me to bed..

Argh! The feeling is too strong until I got to admit you know how i feel recently..
Sick, now can concentrate on my work? Or should I still PLAY = =! SAD! Cant control myself..

Happy to Eat But Sad to Share

Wanna share something small in Twitter but i dunno my twitter acc login id.. so sad.. Smile this song is really good, I can feel the happiness in it but I dont have the happiness within the song.. I am having my dinner alone now in front of my laptop.. I asked something but I got no response from anyone in the house.. So HappY to have my dinner AlonE.. This is THE REASON WHY I-I-I-I Smi-i-i-ile...

A Letter to YOU, The ONE who looking at US

Life is not as easy as everyone can imagine.. Especially when you're having financial problem from your relative.. The one you love, you would share everything with him or her.. Even though that is a super deep hole which you have to step in and you do not know when you can climb back up to the surface.. It is hard to open your mouth to tell something that cannot be solved within a short time.. But that is not the solution.. Everyday, everyone close to you will have to suffer a lot especially your parents..

What can I do to help?!
Nothing.. Everyday hear the story, I can only feel pain deep in my heart.. There is nothing else I can do.. If I can take out that amount of money to help, maybe I can temporary solve the problem.. But, more and more problems will arise and I do not know how to solve the problems that will be coming to me..

Hopeless and Restless days.. Even though my life is good and everyday I live happily, but I feel like dying all the times.. Financial problem, can money drop from the sky?! How good if money drop from the sky?!

When you are hopeless yet you got to hear your friend tell you how he spent his money or how much he can have from parents or relatives, it makes me feel so envy and jealous.. Jealousy, can I use that as a reason for me to do something bad?! I really feel so hopeless to life.. But, who knows my future.. Maybe I can help them in future?! The problem is can the victims survive till the last second?!! I feel so unfair.. I never hope anything from YOU.. But I really hope YOU can help my aunt to pass this.. My cousin can't do anything until the problem behind that is solve.. Pls, I beg YOU.. Help them..

Movie Night with Frens

Kahwai, Wong, Marcus, Leo, CP, PC, Nee, CPM & Poh! Hey! Enjoy the night with u guys! Even though Insidious is kinda ... But I enjoy a movie night with all of us gather together! Can we have another try for this kind of activity be4 PC move?! haha! Love ur house weih PC! Dont go club or Dont go pub! We go for MOVIE NIGHT!

I Need Suprise

Tuesday, suppose there is 1 lecture class at 4pm to 6pm.. I dont feel like going so I attended it ytd.. But, now I regret.. I made my tuesday too free, free until I dunno what to do and spent an hour listening the same song which telling me how I feel.. Am I too active?! My brain just keep telling me find something to do, 1 sec be4 this i on fb.. 1 sec later i off it.. 2 sec later I feel like on my fb again.. so I on fb again.. and cloose it again in less than few minutes time.. What am I doing... Am I bored till like this?! There is a lot of stuff waiting for me to complete them... But my mood isn't here with me.. What can I do to recover my good mood?! Someone pls talk to me.. Tell me some joke tell me some lame joke or tell me some secret to make me feel suprise pls...

FreeDom

Lying on my bed, watching at the closed window..
Sound like im in jail, well there's no difference whether im in jail or in my house..
I want freedom.. Free from any burden, free from any perfect thoughts about my life..
Free from anything that I care so much.. My heart is so soft...
In movies, ppl can just walk away and explore their life.. But I cant coz my heart is already linked with everyone who step into my life...
I miss everything I care.. When can I feel free and run away from here?
This song sings my mood now..

林宥嘉 – 想自由


每個人都缺乏什麼　我們才會瞬間就不快樂　
單純很難　包袱很多　已經很勇敢　還是難過　

許多事情都有選擇　只是往往事後我才懂得　
情緒很煩　說話很衝　人和人的溝通　有時候沒有用　

或許只有你　懂得我　所以你沒逃脫　
一邊在淚流一邊緊抱我　小聲的說多麼愛我　
只有你　懂得我　就像被困住的野獸　在摩天大樓渴求自由　

一路守著追著美夢　踏上屋頂意外跌得好重　
不覺得痛　是覺得空　城市的幻影有千百種　

就算愛也會變冷淡　可是現在抱的你是暖的　
我不曉得　我不捨得　為將來的難測　就放棄這一刻　

或許只有你　懂得我　所以你沒逃脫　
一邊在淚流一邊緊抱我　小聲的說多麼愛我　
只有你　懂得我　就像被困住的野獸　在摩天大樓渴求自由

Wake up N Dream

I think I wake up too early today.. Nothing to do now!
Looking at my lappy, I only can dream..
My mind only got 5 words..
I got nothing to do
I got nothing to do
I got nothing to do
I got nothing to do
I got nothing to do
I got nothing to do
I got nothing to do
I got nothing to do
I got nothing to do
I got nothing to do
I got nothing to do
Sad...

Shouting

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Down Thoughts

Sometimes I just decided to do something so that I won't feel so lonely, but happiness won't last long and it is gone in a blink of an eye.. Companions made me feel like i'm not alone but some harsh words or unfriendly treatment would definitely bring me down.. I have fallen again.. Down and down and down.. Maybe I don't deserve to have such a full time caring heart, becoz it is definitely a waste if such a good heart is with me.. I should donate it to another person who has more friend or caring friend compare with me.. Well, how to train myself to shut up?! I just can't control myself to talk coz I don't like to be alone.. Everyday stay at home already knew how does it feel like, now at college or other places I hope I can enjoy the life I want rather than just forcing myself to shut up.. What should I do?! Maybe I should just practice how to shut up to see how's the "market" work...

ya suffering is optional

thx ms chin for telling me that.. but 1 positive energy cant fight with strong negative energy inside me.. haha! gather more positive energy to purify me... i hope that day would come faster... coz i feel so suffer to live under this condition...

My Assignment - Hundreds Words Task

A thought is appearing in my mind, posting a personal message mean what?! Mean I'm so eager to talk to somebody?! Or am I waiting for a reply?! Recently, I tried to find people to talk with me so that I can feel better, so that I can run away from loneliness.. But after that, I realized that my life is even more boring if I din't find anyone to chat with.. Perhaps talking to my blog is a daily routine now.. As in it is the only thing that allows me to talk... I'm so bored.. Bored till I'm so tired... Money is one of the factor that make me feel so bored with my life.. If I could have more money compare with now, I think I will be able to at least find some fun... Without money, without friends, without any entertainment, without any companions, I feel so tired of living..
Nose sensitive is getting more and more severe.. Every morning attend class and my nose make me feel uncomfortable... Feel like staying at home and rot faster... Luckily I still got 2 friends, artificial friends... LOL! There is one line i love it very much! 明明活得很好,却感觉快死掉.. I really like this.. Because it always tell me that I got such a good fate to survive until this age but my dead brain always feel like dying since it cant sense any companions around.. Sad case.. Suddenly watch back what I write up here, I realized that I should have already done my PA coursework if all of these are related to PA coursework.. So many words up there! Sad! Cry also alone.. Mean I'm a real loner?! Personal message.. A way to express myself to myself.. =) Laugh always, laugh louder, so that I can hear it and enjoy myself.. Haha! Funny =D I should spend my energy on my assignment instead of blogging which is another way to talk to myself..
So I should stop blogging and go sleep now! Night!

Funny Thought

Inhumanity, I hope I can behave in this way...
So that, I can truely free from any burden...
So that, I dont have to look at the floor without looking in front everytime i walk...
So that, I can stop crying and be numb with everything i care about...
So that, I will be always standing without falling or bend my knee...
So that, I can survive when im alone...

When can I acquire this so extraordinary skill?! I really need it... =/

一个希望

有好多好多的歌曲都有一至二句我想说的话。。
好想大大声唱出来！但是我在想，有几个人会听到呢？

Long Gas Story Teller

Last week, its another history in my life..
I think it should be the fifth history that recorded with dark cloud,thunder n storm in my life..

I need someone to talk to... Talk about everything I wanted to talk and share..
I want to go sing k so desperately! It's because I want to share something that I not dare to voice out by singing it loud..

Last thursday, I have to say bye to 2 person.. The first person I said to is a bye forever which will never meet again.. Its a super duper down time to me.. However, the second one is totally opposite of the first.. Its a super duper happy moment we had and there is still chance for us to meet again in future.. Even though the chance is low, but its better than the chance is a ZERO..

Thx to F.I.R for releasing their latest album at this moment.. I love them coz their songs have accompanied me for these days which I feel so lonely.. Dear, thx ya for allowing me to hide for a week time.. I think it is time for me to see the sun.. So, it's time to stand up.. N open my eyes to see the sunshine..

Another thing that I would like to mention is.. Im not slow, but slowing down the speed allows me to enjoy more time with everything.. I very scared of losing something.. Once something even a dust that checked in to my life.. I hope it wont just checked out without care about my feeling..

Arghhhh! Im so indulge n enjoy in these songs... They are like a good fren hugging me and just won't let me go away! I hug everything and don't wanna let go.. Can I?

迟迟

迟迟迟迟迟迟迟迟迟。。。

我的人生都来得太快还是我反应得太迟？

总是离不开迟这一个字。。。

有哪一次我会把握准时机或比时机来时早呢？

Happy Mother's Day

祝天上与天下的妈妈母亲节快乐。。。

Time

If the time can rewind, I hope I won't be like the kid in that video..

Im worse than the kid..

I only know about cry after it happened..

Triple Sorrow

Just now I dream that I asked my dad again about something,
then I heard Lithium this song 3x which stack together..

Am I this sorrow until I cant release a thing?!

The first was in my dream and I was driving the car n park it outside my house,
the car is playing Lithium..

The second one was in my dream and in my room the computer is playing it...

but I off the one in my comp and I still can hear 2 songs playing..

1 is my car outside there, another 1?!

Its in reality! I can hear my computer playing the song now! In reality...

早上真好

刚刚出外走了一会儿，感觉清新凉爽！好比家里那冷气机呢！
回到家，打开房门。。我惊觉这儿热得够力！还是外面好！
好想好想出外走走。。
出外走走，即能省钱也能爱护环境。。
好过在家开大冷气睡到不知什么样来了。。

回房后，不想入睡，好喜欢这孤单一人的时候，反正跟平时没舍两样吗。。
好挂念外面那冷冷的风。。
它们真好，我走出去才那一会儿，它们都围绕着我。。
那一会儿那么长的时间，它们都在陪伴我左右。。
空闲的我看见了蜘蛛！我的天敌阿！
二话不说，拿起了武器一下便送了它们一程。。
八位兄弟，好对不起。。

谁起床了呢？
最近啊，我都在自个儿说话，朋友们都去忙了。。

感觉

这时这刻这分这秒，我的感觉失灵了吗？
感觉像被全世界背叛，被欺骗，被排挤，被冷落，被丢弃，被遗忘，被放逐。。
我真的自由了吗？

如何让生命有厚度？
如何让生命有高度？

有谁懂我在问什么？！

心思

很对不起，实在抱歉。。
给所有关心我的人，一路来都帮我的人。。
对不起。。
或许有时候我做错了，但我也逼于无奈。。
有头发想做瘌痢？
有时候你想要的，很需要别人支持，同时，别人需要的，也需要他人的支持。。
何苦呢。。

心思，
顾名思义就是说心里所想，心里所思，
只不过是一个人所知的事情，
别人想懂，
但是有心思的人往往会收起那资讯出发点，
没了源头，想了解那人的想法真难！

一个人想，一个人思，
一个人做，一个人跟，
诺有此事，幸福极了，
一个人想，一个人做，
望望身后，只见身影，
不要失落，也别难过，
可能他人也是这么过。。。

好想表达内心所想，
内心始终都在颤抖，
不安焦虑集中一身，
仿佛一生无法释怀。。

好多美丽的语言，但往往都被过滤一番。。
哪里能够听到心语呢？
我想哭，我想恨，想躲藏，想孤独。。

复杂，不想多想。。
简单，不敢相信。。
人啊人，真不简单。。

累了累了，谁可以来送我一程？

好想唱歌。。

谁人在这？来陪陪我好吗？

天蝎座性格最精确的解析

一、朋友多 & 孤独

“有很多的朋友，可是“看似朋友很多，知心的却没有几个。”——这句话很深刻的形容了天蝎。



天 蝎很能说话，他们跟别人可以天南地北的聊，可以聊得很八卦，也会聊一些很严肃的话题，比如今天又有某个明星怎样怎样了；隔壁班有多少美女帅哥；今年服饰的 流行趋势之类的…… 可是注意了，他们都只是跟你聊一些不关自己的事——随便他们跟你说些什么，可是跟自己有关的都只是些皮毛而已。关于自己的事，他们几乎是不说的，就算说， 也是说一些跟自己无关痛痒的事。当你想更进一步的了解天蝎，他们便会很自然的把话题给扯开。



天蝎很自信，同时他们又很没有安全感。这是天蝎特有的矛盾。他们喜欢把自己重重包围住，不让自己暴露——对于天蝎来说，如果在一个还不了解的人面前把自己暴露了，就等于让别人抓住了自己的把柄，这样就失去了一定的优势。



当天蝎感到独孤悲伤时，只会一个人躲在房间里哭，或一个人郁闷着。天蝎也很怕被伤害，很多时候宁愿自己承受一切也不愿被别人抓住自己的把柄。所以，久而久之也就养成了习惯。



天 蝎基本上也是个很痛苦的人。表面上总是很有活力，很快乐的样子，可是没人的时候他们又总是很忧伤。天蝎总会被一种莫名的悲伤笼罩，但他们不会让别人发现。 他们怕被伤害，也怕被别人抛弃，只能自己硬挺着一切。所以天蝎很神经质、精神脆弱、容易人格分裂，因为承受了太多的东西。



一般来说天蝎的孩子都很早熟。他们对很多的东西都在乎得要命，可是表面上就是看起来什么都不在乎。天蝎并不是故意要掩饰自己——上面说过，这已经是一种习惯了。可是在外人看来，他们便成了虚伪的人。





二、花心 & 冷酷无情



天蝎是被众人所公认的最花心、最冷酷无情的星座。其实对于天蝎的花心，真的不想再说些什么了，解释得太多，累了，也没耐心了。



可是说起天蝎，就不得不提感情。天蝎这一生，似乎注定被感情牵绊，跟爱情纠缠一世。



很 多人说天蝎并不花心，只是博爱，所以才会有那么好的人缘。忘了在哪里看见了这样的一句话：天蝎最大的悲哀在于有两个人的思想，却只有一个人的身体。天蝎有 爱自己所爱的人的权利，也有保护彼此所爱的人的义务，天蝎只剩下一个时，爱也就只剩下义务了。我想用一句话给天蝎的花心做个总结：花心的极端就是痴心的可 怕。该懂的人应该会懂。



至于冷酷无情真的不知道该从何说起……其实天蝎是最平和的星座，可以不发生的冲突，都会尽量避免。天蝎也很少跟人吵架，他们讨厌吵架，若是因为一些生活上的琐碎小事吵架，那么天蝎就在吵完的那一刻就会把这件事给忘了。



倘 若天蝎真的跟你翻脸，除非是你的所作所为或所说的话让天蝎实在不能再忍受。这时他们会很鄙视的看你一眼，然后头也不回地走掉——有时甚至会不给你留面子地 离开。那时恐怕你一辈子也别想再和他们和好——就算有的天蝎碍于面子与你再成为朋友，但是他们对你已经鄙视到了极点，只不过维持着这一层不得不维持的“朋 友”关系而已。





三、完美 & 简单



天蝎总是在追求着完美。当他们在某一时刻的做法起了争议时，虽然当时内心很跃然，可事后会不断的反思，直到心里想出完美的解决方法后才肯让自己休息。



天蝎也总是喜欢去做一些别人不会、不敢去做的事，他们并不是想显示自己或怎样，或许只是因为好玩。



天蝎的想法通常是很简单很单纯的。当他们做了某件事之后，人们就会认为他们就是那个样子了…… 天蝎会很潇洒的说不被人了解很好，也懒得去解释——因为就算解释也不一定有人会了解，可是内心却非常希望别人能够支持。



天蝎的内心极端的敏感，即便是过了很久，也会记得别人的一句话或一个眼神，因为他们时刻在检讨自己，时刻在追求自身的完美。



在 面对这个与自己的理想不相符的世界时，天蝎有太多的无奈，所以他们也总是在逃避。用逃避来面对事情，似乎也成为了天蝎的又一个习惯。不到紧要关头，绝对不 会放下自尊。即使在喜欢的人面前，他们也表现得默然，因为他们不知如何去引领这个人进入他们的心里面。他们本来就是内心极其矛盾的人，他们希望自己是完美 优秀的，总想把自己最好的一面拿给别人看。



天蝎是非常向往自由的，可是内心也在崇尚着某个方向，天蝎很反复的内心世界在成长的日子里没人能体会。如此一来，天蝎就更矛盾了……在崩溃的边缘，没办法发泄，天蝎只能笑。



天蝎的笑很纯净，天蝎笑起来也很调皮。其实天蝎本来就是个很简单的人，任何的心计都只会弄巧成拙。





四、聪明 & 反复无常



天蝎一般都有个聪明的脑袋，跟其他的孩子比起来，天蝎似乎是很有优势的。所以，天蝎在幼年时，一般都很骄傲，有飞扬跋扈、不可一世的态度。



天蝎也自认比别人聪明，他们常常会用自己的标准去要求别人。天蝎凡事都有自己的标准和原则。天蝎没耐心，这是人们所共知的：你自己的事情自己解决，不懂的话去学去想。让他们把话再重复一遍，或许他们还可以保持绅士风度，若要让他们重复第三遍的话……



都说天蝎反复无常。最典型的一个画面就是：当所有的人都在很开心的大笑时，天蝎会突然沉默，然后独自一人走开……明明上一刻还很开心，下一刻就成了一副死鱼脸。



在上面有说到，天蝎经常会被莫名的悲伤笼罩。当这种悲伤排山倒海的压向天蝎时，他们真的会不知所措。不知该如何表达发泄出来，只能自己默默忍受。



天蝎的想法变得很快，总有很多鬼主意。可如果让天蝎一直呆在一个枯燥无聊的环境中，久而久之，天蝎便会失去自身原有的光泽，变得很平庸，没有想法、没有个性。



天蝎的思想也很有弹性，没有绝对的黑白之分。在评断事务时，不会主观地决定善恶黑白。因此，这样使天蝎的想法具有通融性，但这种弹性的思考有时会招致“意见模棱两可”的批评。





天蝎座的人才华横溢，拥有自由的思想和英明的决断力。不喜欢在一处久留，不会义无反顾地投入到某件事中。言语行动通常恰到好处，厌倦单调和枯燥的环境。如果能够利用意志力把自身的多种矛盾因素拧成一股力量，可将自身的优势发挥得淋漓尽致。



天蝎作为风相星座，就如同星相里面讲的那样，做事风风火火随意性大，通常是想到什么就去做什么，然而一段时间后又失去了兴趣……这个可能就是人们通常所说的“三分钟热度”吧。



天蝎是个比任何星座都怕寂寞的星座，天蝎的他（她）不能忍受一个人无聊的打发时间，更不能忍受一个人去吃饭。



天蝎又是一个忍耐力超强的星座，即使他（她）内心有多么的痛苦，他（她）也不会随便告诉别人，除非是天蝎的他（她）认定了你是值得信赖的，能够帮助他（她）的人，才能知晓他（她）内心深处的一些东西。



天蝎天生就是个矛盾的星座，他（她）通常会以乐天的姿态出现在公众或朋友的面前，给人留下的就是玩世不恭的印象。然而，一旦天蝎一个人的时候，自己内心的秘密才会通过感觉被表达出来。不是说天蝎虚伪，而是天蝎的性格决定了他（她）们的行为。



看 了很多星相，也听很多人说过，天蝎就是花心的代名词：天蝎对待爱情就象对待游戏，爱情的游戏，他们百玩不厌，并且花样层出不穷。其实这个观点是非常愚蠢 的。12个星座中我想多少都有一些人是花心的吧？就象社会里也有一部分是坏人，不能这么一概而论。或许说此话的人的运气不好，正巧遇到了个花心的天蝎，可 这并能不代表所有天蝎都是花心的！



其实，很大一部分天蝎，对待感情是非常专一的。之所以给人留下“花心”的美名，是因为很少有人 能够让略带童心的天蝎动真感情。不是天蝎铁石心肠，而是天蝎个性里面天生有一些忧郁与一些潜在的不自信，只是天蝎隐藏的很深入。一旦让天蝎动了真感情，那 么恭喜你了，天蝎的天真、率直，外加丰富的表达能力，一定能让你获得很多快乐！





每个天蝎都有一个故事隐藏在心里，而且多数是不堪回首的往事。



天 蝎是个念旧，又或者可以说是喜欢沉浸在回忆中的星座。他（她）的故事通常都是因情所困，动了感情而被伤害了的天蝎是脆弱的，也是坚强的。他（她）可以很快 的振作起来，可以当做什么事都没有发生，这些都只是天蝎演给世人看的罢了……等到夜深人静的时候，天蝎内心的伤痛随着血液渗透到全身，他（她）可以用一整 夜去回忆之前所发生的点点滴滴；可以一整夜都沉浸在痛苦之中；可以一整夜坐在那里发呆……但是，一旦天亮了，要出去见人了，天蝎马上便会从痛苦中抽身而走 ——你看到的肯定是一个神采奕奕的天蝎。



这就是天蝎，拥有双重性格的天蝎，一个在世人面前乐天、快乐，在孤独夜晚独自伤悲的天蝎。



我想，接触过天蝎的人都知道，他们是很会搞气氛的星座，只要有天蝎出现的地方就绝对不会缺少快乐。



天蝎是个把快乐带给别人，把悲伤留给自己的星座，请不了解天蝎的人不要再给天蝎扣上“花心”之类的帽子。不过你硬要扣也无所谓～花心就花心，这就是天蝎——自信、乐天、率直、忧郁。



天蝎的爱是最永恒的，可以付出一切。



有人说我们花心，那只是我们没有真正的爱。当天蝎爱上一个人的时候是痛苦的。因为我们太敏感。



假如天蝎爱上了一个不爱自己的人，那么我相信他（她）永远都不会再爱了。当爱给过了一个人，他（她）便再没有能力再付出。



其实太多的人都不懂我们，其实有时连我们自己都不懂自己。我们很会伪装、很会说谎，但我们最细腻，对感情最敏感。



天蝎的爱，有谁能够真正理解。

A thought of Mine

I wanna cry, I wanna die..
I just wanna run and hide..
I wanna stand, I wanna fight..
I just wanna win and strike..

People die people cry..
We will never have to cry!
We just have to lend our hands,
Try to walk along with them!

Throw away the hesitation,
Bring along your determination,
Walk into the suffocation,
And begin our purification..

Sleepless & Speechless & Emo

Friday night(Saturday midnight), can't sleep.. Slept from 4.30am to 8.00am,
the whole day i just do my stuff i never fall sleep...
Saturday night(Sunday midnight), din't sleep.. Slept from 4.00am to 10.30am,
yesterday there was an event so din't sleep..
Now I wanna sleep.. Can I?!

There just too much of things that we can't voice out..
Perhaps we can just use our actions to prove that we can feel it..
I just want to cry right now..

给人一句话

损人不利己的事别做，做了只会让人更加讨厌。。

Sorry...

Sorry... The only thing I can do now is say sorry...
I lost control on myself...
This is the second time that happened in my diploma life...
I failed to have yours trust...

Time Flies

This song represent my life after That Day =)

我是被你囚禁的鳥
已經忘了天有多高
如果離開你給我的小小城堡
不知還有誰能依靠

我是被你囚禁的鳥
得到的愛越來越少
看著你的笑在別人眼中燃燒
我卻要不到一個擁抱

我像是一個你可有可無的影子
冷冷的看著你說謊的樣子
這撩亂的城市容不下我的癡
是什麼讓你這樣迷戀這樣的放肆

我像是一個你可有可無的影子
和寂寞交換著悲傷的心事
對愛無計可施
這無味的日子
（我的）眼淚是唯一的奢侈

But NOW everything changed... =)

For My Only One Sweetest Dream

I wanna see how moon shine
I wanna see how moon shy
I wanna see how moon cry

Let the moon see me laugh
Let the moon hug me tight
Let the moon watch me lie

Show the moon I din't cry
Show the moon I still alive
Show the moon I will survive

I hope the day disappear from my mind
I hope the day return to a normal life
I hope the day gone bye bye

Let the day passed and hide
Let the day owned and cry
Let the day crossed and say goodbye

Show the day a little bit light
Show the day a bag of love
Show the day infinity life

Life

Life is so amazing huh! From an accounting student and we have to try many other things that we duno how they work or how to use..
Its awesome when we get to know something new and everytime I learn something I felt GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
Yesterday, when I was exploring Windows Live Movie Maker with NM, I found the song I've been looking for so GOD DAMN LONG! Thx to Wong! Wong THXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!
Indulge to that song.. Just like drugs! Gosh! Save me!
I duno why I can be so Active early in the morning... AT THIS MOMENT..
LOL!
IMMA GONNA ROCKS MY DAY! See my frens TO9! HOOOOOOOOORAY!
Its like holiday mood ON!! LOL! But I can't keep this mood long..
JUST TODAY! I PROMISED!

Hope

I wanna sleep.. Im so tired..
Can I sleep?? I have to work!!
I am confused.. Im so lost..
Can I rest?? I have to think!!
I wanna die.. Im so sick of living..
Can I die?? I have to live!!

I feel glad, coz u always there for me..
I feel safe, coz u always watching me..
I feel happy, coz u always care everything about me..
I feel sad, when u have forgotten to take care of urself..
I feel bad, when u work hard to make me feel happy..
I feel bored, when u are not beside me..

I'm Coming Home

6.30pm, its raining outside..
My brother n his gf is going to airport now..
My brother gives me AUD 100 just now and he say he gonna take back when i transfer my money to him next time..
=.= I just realise I will lose a lot in future if I took the AUD 100..
BUT I TOOK IT!
So can I return him next time?! LOL

Just now, I take the umbrella from my mom when she is going into the car..
I feel like, I gonna be lonely again..
This kind of feelings is sooooooo evil..
They always occupy my mind..
Scared.. Cried.. Droped.. Dried..
This cycle used to repeat on my face when I think back my past..

Likes "I'm Coming Home" very very much!

"I'm Coming Home I'm Coming Home
Tell the world I'm Coming Home
Let the rain wash away, all the pain of yesterday
I know my Kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm Coming Home I'm Coming Home
Tell the world that I'm Coming Home..."

Bro n Sis in law! See both of you next Chinese New Year!
Now I hope time flies and reach that day by tmr.. LOL?
Feel like crying again..

Problem in my mind

Just now, my brother told me a lot of ways to apply the scholarship..
My head is going to explode soon! There are few ways available for me right now.
He tell me that last time he only got 1 choice and the decision consumed lot of time!
N now i got few ways for me to try out.. which mean double or triple of his work?!
O.M.G
Sigh.. If i were born in a rich family,
I do not have to worry about the scholarship n i might be studying oversea right?!
Since this is my fate, should I go on or should I put it aside first?
I feel so nervous and I can't have my mind calm down a little bit..
What should I do?!

价值观

只懂得投诉及批评不代表些什么，到了真正发生事情的时候才知道什么是失策！

This is human nature..
No matter who you are..
How saintly you are..
How clever you are..
How careful you are..
There will also got chances you do something wrong!

要是当初你关心多点，会搞到这么狼狈吗？

不懂的分辨是非黑白真正对错，好难对某些事物做出一个合理的结论。。
不同的人有不同的观念，无论谁对谁错，外人难以明白也不便评论。。

一個人臉上太多的笑是因為心裡有太多的痛

Copied from other's articles.. Only what I wanted to say I post here..

總有一些人，他們看上去整天都很開心，嘻嘻哈哈的，

沒有煩惱，像個小孩，他們會說玩是我最大的樂趣，我很喜歡玩，我什麼都會玩。人多的時候他們臉上總掛著笑容，好多人都會羨慕他們，然而這其實是他們最悲哀的地方，他們不想讓別人看到自己難過的一面，更沒有能力一個人獨處，因為當夜深人靜的時候，他不知道一個人會發生什麼事，坐在窗前冥想走過的點滴。

沒有人讀的懂他們，想著想著貌似快樂的他們就會黯然流下一臉的悲傷，然後自己對自己說：「其實也沒什麼，命運吧！」所以他們就整天逼自己笑，以此來逃避那些常人所不能不承受的痛苦!

他們貌似很堅強，因為在別人看來，他們什麼事都能微笑著去面對，但事實上他們長著世界上最脆弱的心靈，只是長期的偽裝使得別人很難發現他們內心深處的創傷。

他們其實非常孤獨，雖然看到他們時都是在跟一群人談天說地，那是因為他們實在不能承受一個人時的折磨！

他們只想簡簡單單、快快樂樂的活著，期待並且相信每個人給的笑容都是真心的，希望身邊的人都是真正的喜歡自己。即使別人小小的意見，也會另他們難過好久，他們真的真的很介意，介意自己不被人喜歡。因為，他們總是為別人想的很多，對別人總是比對自己好; 把能對喜歡的人好當做幸福，喜歡別人比喜歡自己多。

他們總是那樣，前一秒還傷心的流著淚，後一秒出現在朋友面前的時候，已經滿臉溢著燦爛的笑容。有人說他們是向日葵，是的，他們在意的人就像是太陽，在面對太陽的時候永遠是明艷的花瓣，而太陽照不到的背面，那悲傷藏得那麼好，不願被看見。

他們嚮往放縱自由的生活，卻必須為了誰很努力的朝另外的一個方向活著，很累很累，卻仍是心甘情願。離自己的夢境越來越來遠，不得不面對從未想過的爭奪和複雜，心慌、不知所措。只有面對最信賴的人時，才會卸下盔甲，委屈的流下眼淚。

因為在他們心裡，笑就是開心，哭就是難過，接近就是喜歡，遠離就是討厭。

但其實不是，他們明白了，心好傷，眼淚就沒忍住。

哭過之後，笑笑得擦乾眼淚，說，沒關係，我可以做的很好的。

他們好像無所不能，好像總是不會有煩惱，好像什麼問題都能輕而易舉的解決，總是喜歡喜歡出現在流淚的人面前，笑嘻嘻的逗著笑。而面對自己的問題，他們卻茫然無措，面對自己的悲傷，他們只會躲在人們看不見的角落裡慢慢由傷口越裂越大。

他們的想法非常簡單，說出來的就是心裡所想的，肚子裡不會拐七道八道的小彎，無心的話可能會引起別人的誤解。所以，請別記恨他們，他們從不願傷害誰，小小的錯誤就能讓他們懊悔很久。

心声谁听明？

我今年二十七八岁，
偶尔会有寂寞，偶尔会挂念一个人。。。

我今年二十七八岁，
回想起曾经，
我们做了太多的错事，
走了太多的弯路，
我们总在后悔，
可是我们回不去了，
回不去那个纯真的年代了。

我今年二十七八岁，
明明很想哭，却还在笑。
明明很在乎，却装作无所谓。
明明很想留下，却坚定的说要离开。
明明很痛苦，却遍遍说自己很幸福。
明明忘不掉，却说已经忘了。
明明放不下，却说她是她，我是我。
明明舍不得，却说我已经受够了。
明明说的是违心的假话，却说那是自己的真心话。
明明眼泪都快溢出眼眶，却高昂着头。
明明已经无法挽回，却依旧执着着。
明明知道自己很受伤，却说你不必觉得欠我的。
明明伪装着很累，却还得依旧。。。。。。

为的只是隐藏起自己的脆弱，
即使很难过，
也会装得无所谓。。。
只是不愿别人看见自己的伤口，
不想让自己周围的人担心，
不想让别人同情自己。。。
只想在心底独自承受，
虽然心疼得难以呼吸，
却笑着告诉所有人“我没事的！”

然后静下来时，
自己便笑自己，
何必把自己伪装得那么坚强,
好像自己可以承受所有的苦难。。。
呵呵，好累。。。好累。。。

Link Ur Mind to My Mind

Can you imagine that,
a person who hold his tears becoz he dont want to show others his weak side..
But when he met a person who he think their souls are linked,
he showed the weak side..
Its hard for a person to show their weakness in front of the others,
this is one of the human natural which they wanted to protect themselves so badly..
If they failed to do so, they might just ended their life easily..

Smile,
sometimes, people take it as a welcome;
sometimes, people use it to cover scar;
sometimes, people make it as a weapon;
sometimes, people abandon it and adopted tears.

N I wanted to use it to hide all the miseries..

圣经与神经之别

无奈的心情给了我无穷的伤感。。。
如何把你从我心底彻底清除呢？？？
到底有没有任何极苦良药，
还是盲婆熬的盲婆汤可喝，
只为了一件事就足以把我推倒。。。
好累啊！好累呀！好累了！
不想再想，不敢再想，不要再想。。
只想忘记，只想忘掉，只想忘了。。
孙燕姿想当个隐形人，
叮当想做小小小小鸟，
艾薇儿大声高唱无知，
刘德华只叫杯忘情水，
我只想尽情畅快发泄，
是时候把我的头撞向墙壁倒头大睡！

Believe

The first news I received few months/weeks ago, I felt like Thx god for giving my neighbour a chance..
Just now my mom tell me that my neighbour actually opened her eyes but she cant move..
Why... Why is this world so unfair?
She always cook or take something for my family.. She's a great neighbour..
But have to suffer from this kind of pain..
Why always not fair? What is moral?! I don't want to learn something like this..
Open ur eyes and tell lie.. WHY!?
Why we must learn how to lie?
Speechless..
What can i believe?!
Myself?!

Loner

Just now when i was taking bath.. I'm scared..
My mind suddenly think of what if I become a loner again..
I don't wanted to become a loner again..

Everyday waiting someone to come across my mind
and everyday waiting the time to pass..
Everyday waiting something to motivate my body
and everyday waiting for tears to drop off from my eyes..

Scared to become a loner again..
That 5 years is my darkest nightmare...
It makes me unbreathable, unmotivated and hoping for a bright sunray from cracks in my room..

Embarrassing when ur fren drunk

Today! 2 months anniversary!
I was drinking red wine at my fren's house and she was invited to attend the "opening work ceremony" by her mom's boss..

=/

My fren drunk and kept on hitting my head or whatever.. Feel like slaping her! = =
A day that ruin my reputation! haha!

30th January 2011

My brother is back from Australia..
Wow! I went airport and drank my favourite WHITE CHOCOLATE in Coffee Bean!

I went Jusco with my family right after we picked my elder brother in airport..
Ish! I bought a long pants.. I think it is the same as the pants my fren has!
HOLYSHIT!

Then I bought 2 new shirt.. so so so ... EXPENSIVE actually is what I wanna comment bouts..

Damn! God always fool me.. I wanna run away! So here we go Avril Lavigne RUNAWAY!

"I JUST WANNA LOSE CONTROL!"
BLABLABLA... Lazy to copy the lyrics to here.. so.. CHECK IT OUT URSELF YEA! hehe..
Im talking to myself.. = =! Again n again! Everyday also like this...

Roundabout

Today, I have driven my car into a roundabout and I was trapped in here for the whole day!

How to choose?

3 o'clock direction, continue my life like this...
Mean study at TARC, continue advance and then work in Malaysia..

6 o'clock direction, look for scholarship and go to Australia to further my study?!

9 o'clock direction, a way i duno how to go or where to go or where i can go..

12 o'clock direction, go out then come back to roundabout..
Mean put the thing aside and let it be until i finish diploma only come back to it?!

I cant go out from here until I recognize the road im going..
HOW!? What should i do?! I need more advice!

"OLD" Pals Sing K

Woke up EARLY in the morning yesterday... Around 1100AM!
Very EARLY right?! Why? Yesterday, I went Low Yat with old pals..

There was something that made me say WA WOW OH all the time yesterday..

That was, originally I thought they(Arvin, Kahwai, Chiapei, Leo) were watching movie at TS..
But I was wrong and they were watching "Home Coming" at Pavillion..
OK! I said Oh n WA...

Then, we(Jon & I) were going to Sg. Wang around 1345PM after we parked the car in TS..
I thought we were late for the sing k session.. Then, Jon told me something amazed me..
I OPEN MY MOUTH BIG BIG N here I said OH WA WOW..
Becoz, they changed the sing k time to 1430PM.. OK!

1400PM, we reached Sg. Wang and I called Kahwai and asked where were they..
They were undecided where to have lunch... Here I said OH & WOW...

1410PM finally we met! OK! Then we were looking for a restaurant that can let us sit down peacefully and enjoy a lunch together..

Well Well Well! WOW WA OH WALAO WALAMAK everything out.. Except vulgar words of course! Im a good boy K!? hehe! 1430PM we sat down and enjoyed the meal peacefully until 1510PM..

OK!! Sing K! 1520PM we had finally arrived red box counter there..
My today's outing main point main location!

THEN SKIP SKIP SKIP...
We sang a lot different type of songs lol!
This is the first time Im getting more n more insane!
We even jumped up the sofa and wawawa!

1830PM Nobody coming to collect $$ from us.. Which mean we can continue!
Guess what.. 1830 we sang till 2100 only back! LOL extra 2 n a half hours!

The last song was "THE SHOW" and I sang damn loud when it came to I WANT MY MONEY BACK... I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!!!!!! LOL

Then.... 2130PM we were going back to Cheras our area there to have our dinner..
Oh shit! 2200PM Burger again.. Haha! Morning 3 spoon of chicken rice, Noon 1 plate of marmite fish rice, Night a small black pepper chicken n a cup of milo ICE.. LOL

2300PM reached home! Woohoo... Then I called someone who worried me more than my dad n mom! Haha! My dear PaPa! Sorry larh dear, Im not purposely dont want reply you.. But I also dunno what time back or what time end of our sing k session hehe..
Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry! haha not a song okay? coz i duno how to sing that LOL!

Then I COOK PORRIDGE until 0100AM then only go bath and so on! LOL!

Dear,
ı ǝʌo| noʎ
¡sʞɔɐnɯ

To Ling Gee Foo

Bored.. Need some income to balance off my bored life.. =/
Looking for job after this CNY.. = =
Should end the old story book and begin my new chapters in my new book..
A book I call it "My Life Begin with a 2"..
Im expecting something new!
Pls come to me before my current book is end..
Make my life more colourful and ours story more wonderful! =)

Clean Clean Clean

Today, Pamely came and help me in cleaning my table!
Yuck! Its dusty! I dint move or lend a hand..
I was just sitting there and watching her..
I was pXXXing gXXX and looking at her...
I wanna cry ady for her hard work..
Now my table is much more cleaner..
Thx dear! TQ! I LOVE YOU!

意义的定义

对你来说，可能三只化骨龙是恐怖的。。
但是，有没有想过当三只恐龙都不再跟你说话的那种感觉？
身为一位舅舅/表舅的我，真的真的很怕这种不知名的感觉。。
今天，三只长大了的化骨龙也有在我家出现。。
平时他们出现时，都只会跟我弟弟玩。。
谁叫我弟弟最像小孩子长不大，一直陪他们玩玩玩。。
所以他们一来就只会找我弟弟咯。。
但是，至少一句称呼我也会觉得很爽。。
可是，不懂什么时候开始，连称呼都没了。。
这种感觉很孤独，很像什么都没了。。
今天还好，我刚好起床，还没下去便听到他们要回了。。
二话不说，床也没整理便跳了起来冲了下去。。
一来便穿上拖鞋走上前去对这车窗招手。。
幸好他们也有回应我。。
要不然，我真的觉得自己其实是名副其实地，彻彻底底地一个失败者！！

曾经，应为一些过错而当了第一次的失败者，现在，很想很想做回些事情来补救。。
更确实应该是赎罪。。
可是我却无动于衷。。
有时真的觉得自己冷血的呢。。

教教我，如何做个有意义的人。。

12Hours in Hell & 12Hours in Heaven

Yesterday, from 12AM to 12PM,
I'm preparing myself to face my last paper..
I knew that I could'nt finish the tutorials..
I thought I can wake up at 6AM to continue my tutorials,
However, I failed and I off my alarm clock without conscious I think..
Nvm, when I wake up again at 645AM,
What's in my mind is, IM DEAD...

Then I quickly rush down and took bath and my breakfast without any feeling of hungry..
I lost my senses of smell and taste..

When I reach college, everyone is like so relaxing especially kahwei and cheexuan!!
I was still struggling and my mood was so unstable!
Perhaps I haven't done my revision
which I told myself that I should have done it at 6AM..

Then, "BEEP"x3...
Times to go into the exam hall and answer the last 5 questions in this final..
I was thinking, SIGHHH... Have to waste papers again.. LOL
I wrote and signed the stupid attendance slip, I opened the question paper..
My reply: "OH!" Finally I smile..

After 2 hours of writing nonsense and bullshits,
Suddenly something pop out from my mind, I was scared..
Perhaps Im still immature to have some thoughts like that..
I was so stupid idiot and I was a bastard who thought of something like that...
SIGHHHH...

3 hours of my final paper ENDED.. Ngee Ming was slow!
He tied his answer booklets slowly & gently.. LOL! I wanna go HEAVEN ady!

12PM, I steped out from Hell's gate and entered the train to Heaven..

12PM to 12AM is the first time that I feel so free and enjoy after exam..
Usually, after exam = time to sleep.. This is a basic general equation to me..
YESTERDAY it was totally changed!

I made a new equation which is RIGHT after exam = NO TIME FOR U TO SLEEP
On the same time, NO TIME FOR U TO SLEEP = TIME TO DO SOMETHING I WANT!
Thus, RIGHT after exam = TIME TO DO SOMETHING I WANT!

We went to Sunway and SKATE! Thx to BLUE SK from Group 29 who taught me how to spin!
Whoots! After the skate, I gifted something to my dear..
She was like .... I duno whether she like it or not.. Its too simple i believe..
(When I bought it I feel its simple..)
So, duno she like it or not! Haha!
After Sunway trip, we went TASTY POT!
I CAN SAY! THAT TASTY POT! IS REAL TASTY..
IN the sense of SALTY and ULTIMATE SALTYYYYY!

Know what?! I was blind yesterday night! Perhaps I was too tired!
I dint see my friends was driving straight N I just turn left into another way..
I thought I was following the right car all the time, but..
When Pamely told me that.. U sure u following the right car?! I say YA!
But she ask me to look at the car.. OMG I ask Ngee Ming..
SINCE WHEN THAT HUICHUIN TRANSFORM HIS CAR!!!!
Its ok.. Lucky we still manage to go back to the road we wanted to go..
After the U-turn, we turn left and were looking for TASTY POT..
I duno which junction to turn so then we go straight.. OH NO! FEDERAL HIGHWAY..
ARE WE GOING HOME OR TASTY POT!!
Lost again.. ZZZ
Luckily Pamely saw TASTY POT was on our left, then we looking for a way to go in..
But I only saw a signboard which wrote SHAH ALAM N a place
N ITS THE START of XX HIGHWAY!
I think I was so blur during that moment!
Luckily we still manage to turn back to the right place..

Kahwei's mom join us for dinner! Haha! I thought that was a dinner for Lai's Family.
Because all of them bully me n accuse me!! OH MAN! Come on!
They deny and telling me that I think too much.. = =
Even Pamely also bully me.. Sad case..
ITS OK! LETS EAT!

After the dinner I sent Pamely home, I sent her to the door there..
I was so scared to see her mom.. Like I had done something to her daughter! haha!
I did! I dated her daughter right?!
HOWEVER/LUCKILY her mom is not there then I back to my car and drive NM CP n LY home..
3 SAMPAT fellow sang songs in my car.. N i JOINED their PARTY.. LOL!

12AM+ I reach home... Thats the end of my 24Hours of 2H Trip.(Hell & Heaven Trip)

NOW, I mean the next day of the end of my final.. I AM THINK........
Next SEMESTER!
MORAL N ETHICS why the hell are we wasting time on this kind of things?!
Its totally useless to me!
A human doesn't need knowledge like that..
But knowledge on how to use their brain in doing things will be the right subject!
ISN'T IT?!
(I AM JUST CRAPPING!) IGNORE ME K? haha!

Cry

I just realise that...
Tears will not dry easily...
It will remains for a moment..
Is is wanna show me that sometimes,
things won't just go back to the time before it happens,
and one can only looks back on the trace that they left behind?

Moody

When something is gone and won't come back..
One will cry..
What for crying?
Wrong already then cry.. But it still won't recover..
Time won't go back.. Scar is still there..
Cry and regret..
Tears drop and dry..
Dry and drop again..
The cycle is repeating, when we really grown up,
then only we know and we can use the line:
"I know what am I doing.."