The World I Live In

Just now I saw a post which is regarding Dato LCW's brother is going to support him in UK tmr! First I think that is such a great news to CW as there is someone who is close to him fly there and support.. Then, I thought of Lin Dan.. I start feeling sympathy to him.. I think we are so damn lucky as we actually got siblings to live with when we are young.. But to a child in China.. Having a sibling will have to pay to the government.. Those poor family only able to have one child in their home.. Can you relate this to the case like a little girl got bang by car and left there until she died? Could this be gov policy that TRAINED them to protect only themselves? As in they are protected by parents since young and share no love from parents with any other siblings... My brain is too free to think and not going to study for P1 P2 P3.. Shit! Time to go.. Self crapping again.. Gonna whack my brain..

Changed

Work, nowadays I am going to work by lrt. At first, I really not enjoy and I couldn't feel the comfortableness compare to driving yourself. You cannot enjoy songs you cannot enjoy sitting you cannot enjoy the air conditioner as well as when I am driving. That is a selfish thought. After a few days, I realized its good to take public transport as one, you can see how people dress themselves; two, you can see how "civilized" is our country; three, save cost; four, you can learn to ignore others' eyesight; five, enjoy the time of being alone and think about what can you do when you are alone. So great I got this opportunity to expose myself in this environment, started to get used to be alone. I hope I can bear with next semester plan, everyday "work" until 7 or 8pm then only back home. Wish me luck!

Watcher

There are many people out there, everyone does have their own stories. When they share their story, what would you think? Do you put yourself in their socks? Or you just open your ears, listen, then forget what they tell you? Actually, there are third kind who is neither listener nor teller but a watcher. I am that kind of person, I observe what happen around me, I see what I doesn't wish to see, I let every scene pass by my eyes, I just watch how others behave and react from what I think they deserve. I am a watcher. Beware, I am watching over you.

Emo

In Facebook, you got more than 800 friends, but the fact is you got only 8 friends will always like and comment on what you post. In MSN, you got 100 friends, no one will online to chit chat with you anymore because nowadays people using Facebook instead of MSN. In twitter, you set your account privacy as public, you tweet a thing, people might just read it and will never ask what had happened to you, how pathetic life can be if going on like this. In blog, you can only tell yourself about how bored your life can be when so many friends online and got no one realize you are still awake. How one's life can be when your life got friends but without them around you all the time? May be I should say without them around you even a single second... . . . . . . . Imagine you are me then you will know it.

心战

宽恕心中的过去与不甘才能获得真正的自由。

Support

I can't attend but I know what all of you are going to do! To fight for freedom that not much of the people who dare to stand up and fight! You guys are hero! I love my home. My home is here, Malaysia is my home. But when there are people who trying to destroy my home, definitely we all fight them and save our home. Say NO to them. I can't go out like the others that are going to do in 2 days later. But I am here to support you all! Fight for freedom and that is not a stupid thing at all! I appreciate what you all going to do. It's not a waste of time, it is time to show the destroyer some courage that they have given to us! Courage to stand up and fight them! 2 days! I hope it is a peaceful day. Malaysian fight with "something-i-do-not-know-what-to-called", or maybe a straight forward term, Mr. U. Governmt in my homeland? We are the one who choose you, you are the one who never make a decision based on the one who raised you. You are the one who never appreciate, YOU shall learn your lesson. To those who dare to fight and support, we are a family, from Malaysia. There is nothing much I can do, only one thing, appreciate the thing you all going to do! Here is a song, that I hope it will come true, Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift. Safe and Sound, make our home safe and make our people sound heard. " Just close your eyes, the sun is going down, you'll be all right, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I, will be safe and sound."

好一句

多得刚刚那梦，我回想起很多很多我小时候的东西。
小时候去游乐场，荡千秋的快乐都能让我不自觉地笑了。
现在，人大了，见到的感觉到的触碰到的听到的微妙的奇妙的东西都截然不同。
还记得那里每逢星期二的夜市，大家一起闲逛时可真是回味无穷。

人面不知何处去，桃花依旧笑春风。

是时候做功课了！一句话带过。现代人风范啊！

这里可真是我唯一能宣泄给我朋友知道我内心世界的地方啊。

突如其来的梦

梦醒时分，顿然觉得好玄妙，梦见了年轻的爸爸，可是心情却倒伤心的。

我也不明白这到底是什么一回事。
梦见自己去开工，可是走走下回到以前小时住的家。
那里永远是我心中的家。见到我的三舅，好不一样的感觉。
奇妙的是，我醒来时，心中却莫名的低落。
心里自自然然播放了“大火”这一首歌。
这首歌很有意思，因为这首歌唤醒了我的回忆。

想都没想了，我跑到冲凉房去洗澡。

洗完以后，什么都不想，就只有这首歌一直在脑中不停顿地播放着。

在写这篇文章时，突然一件事跳了出来。
我想这就是真正的原因，我的伤感的来源。
那间家，我心中的家，屋主又要把租金提高了。
以前，那屋主可是一位存有好心的老太太，她一路来都没起过那屋租。
但是，听说他儿子成为屋主以后，已经涨了两回。
现在还说要再涨价。
其实阿，对面有一间家也在出租，而且还便宜过现在要涨的价格。
但是我的阿姨她们不舍得这间不曾抛离她们的家。
回想起来，我也哭了。

爸妈回来了，喊了我的名字都把我的思绪给打断了。
不说了。。。

What's come after the laugh

One day, three of my friends they are discussing something through whisper.
It's nothing to whisper each other when they are talking secret.
But what they are whispering is actually something that would like to let me know.
I thought that is something I know some more.
I over expect my own understanding.
Unfortunately, I din't get the message in the end and there comes regret.

I always feel regret when I missed something.
As I deeply understand that life has no second chance to let the same thing happen.
NEVER.
For example, when you fall down from the staircase for the first time, you feel pain and you laugh at yourself; when you fall down from the same staircase for the second time, you feel angry and how pathetic yourself is for making the same mistake twice in the same place or youu feel that is like a fate.
Different timing with the same thing, different feel.

I understand that you say I cannot complain.
But when you never get the point of a message, and regret happened,
yet people ask you to blame yourself.
It's like pouring salt on the bleeding scar.

I laugh every time I think back the scene. Really I laugh!
But then after few seconds of laughing, there comes another feeling.
Which is the opposite feeling.

Stop thinking to make a better mood.

"There is a story behind every laugh.
After the laugh, there comes your real feeling."

Do I?

Maybe she is right.
Distant is a must.
When there is distant, you won't feel much pain compare to no distant.
I should always keep a little distant with others in order to let my shield on,
and protect me.

Lucky I still got Dear to accompany, not everything I have to do alone.
When you are not here, maybe I should try doing things alone.
Even though I hate this kind of feeling, but I don't have another choice.
Do I?

Wood

Maybe you are right. I am a wood who got no feeling. I know you are watching me! Yes! You.

It's Over

Everyday the newspaper post something about the same issue. If you wanna solve it, you can definitely solve it easily since you are the authorized person. Tired reading the same issue all the time man. Do stop appearing in newspaper so that I don't have to think so much. I need some good time to rest also. Especially my eyes! =X

In my opinion, you are done. Thanks for servicing us for so long. I have suffer enough.

现今实事

怎么是这样？告诉我如何面对？
不想面对，不想再思索下去，只想做回一个隐形的人。
后悔了，天真的以为存在是最重要，错了错了。

有一群人叫原始人。他们被一群以知识为头者带出现今社会。
社会上，虎视眈眈的人多得很。
原始人不以为然，怕了这些食肉兽。
一天，好想住回森林里去，
但人类天性残忍，把原始人的森林烧了，
再让那原始人赤裸裸地被他们耍了一番。
原始人也有尊严，你既然把他引出，就得为他想想。
算了，不计较了，忍辱负重的原始人消失了。


话说，一个男人在街边见到一个弱小的男生，收留了他。
男生沉默了好几十个上午，封闭了好几十个下午，忧郁了好几十个晚上。
不言不语不走不动。
原因只有一个，那个男生。。。
是个小婴孩。傻了！语无伦次。睡觉好了。不知所谓！

密码：第一与第三为主题

Sot Plug Frens

Today i realised that i got another sot plug gang.. LOL! They are from the same college of mine and they are from another class.. becoz of my fren we become frens! LOL. Today, we went for sing k.... They are destructing the building instead of singing k! LOL! Really amazing! Anyway! I had fun and enjoy hanging out with them today!

期望

期望，每个人都有着不同的期望，每个期望都值得尊重。
我的期望，到底是什么？
好意并不一定得到好的回应，那还有什么是需要以好的方向去想？
我期望的不是每个人能接受，你们期望的我也未必接受。
人人都有各自的期望，让我至少可以自己期望自己快乐，不要把我的期望给压下去。

很佩服她到现在这种地步还能挺下去。
要是我的话，已离开了。

每个人的期望，都有他所付出的代价。
我的期望，只期望还来得及的话就珍惜。
我已为自己那曾经的过失付出一定的代价。

纯属有感而发，并无任何联想有关。

Change

Wake up early in the morning, but I got lot of stuff waiting me to be done. Hope to enjoy few more peaceful morning but I think there is a chance only after next week. =)
Stay strong always and face everything with a peaceful and calm mind. Wanted to try somethings that I never do in my life. Without companion, am I able to do that? Change is something everyone need, just depends on how one react to changes he or she has made. I want to change!

过去一二年

什么是真正的朋友？朋友的定义是什么？
朋友做错了，你有做了朋友的本分吗？
看着我其他的朋友关系可以那么的要好，我很妒忌！
可不再是用羡慕这词了!
因为我真的很失望。

我也明白世上并没有完美。
可是，一点儿都不提醒但却只是一味儿在背后说。

要是我做错了，切记！一定要把我骂到飞起来！
要不然，我会以为你把我当作是外人一个而已。

别人的事我不管了。


想分享一首歌。五月天的《星空》。给我的朋友。

“摸不到的颜色 是否叫彩虹？
看不到的拥抱 是否叫做微风？
一个人 想着一个人 是否就叫寂寞？
命运偷走如果 只留下结果
时间偷走初衷 只留下了苦衷
你来过 然後你走後 只留下星空

那一年我们望着星空 有那麽多的灿烂的梦 （PD）
以为快乐会永久 像不变星空陪着我

猎户 天狼 织女 光年外静默
回忆青春梦想何时偷偷陨落？
我爱过 然後我沈默 人海里漂流

那一年我们望着星空 未来的未来从没想过
当故事失去美梦 美梦失去线索 而我们失去联络

这一片无言无语星空 为什麽静静看我泪流？ （现在的我）
如果你在的时候会不会伸手拥抱我？

细数繁星闪烁 细数此生奔波
原来所有所得所获不如一夜的星空
空气中的温柔 回忆你的笑容
彷佛只要伸手 就能触摸 （我希望的）

摸不到的颜色 是否叫彩虹？
看不到的拥抱 是否叫做微风？
一个人 习惯一个人

这一刻独自望着星空 从前的从前从没变过 （我希望的）
寂寞可以是忍受 也可以是享受 享受仅有的拥有 （我的心情）

那一年我们望着星空 有那麽多的灿烂的梦 （我的回忆）
至少回忆会永久 像不变星空 陪着我

最後只剩下星空 像不变回忆 陪着我” （我能做的）



有些人不明白为什么我要把歌词摆在这，那是因为你不懂什么是寂寞！
寂寞的人都需要依靠，会把同类找出来。
如有雷同，切记勿对号入座。因为这只是我想告诉自己的东西罢了。

Simple Plan - Astronaut

Can anybody hear me?
Am I talking to myself?

Hope tonight I can sleep. Tears drop.

Misuse

People nowadays like to misuse a lot of words or phrases like "kiasu" and "kepo".
Why I said so? This is due to when you say you want to learn something then another person will say: this fellow "kiasu"! Sigh. I hope everyone do have equal treatment and fair to everyone else. "Kiasu" is appropriate when there is only 1 person in a group of 30 who go learn a new skill and the rest just sit there and do nothing.

Then about "kepo", if you care your friend, what will you do? Go ask them about how they are doing! Do not wait until too late. This is what we called APPRECIATE. I appreciate the time I have with my friends. So, if you do not see or understand what is caring before too late but only remember to describe people "kepo", I can tell you will lose a lot.

Do not misuse any words.

Strange Dream

In my dream just now, I was running towards a bus stop, in front the bus stop there is a big road, the opposite side of the bus stop mean the place that I'm standing got rock slide. Luckily, I managed to jump a little bit to the right so I escaped the big rock to fall on me. However, my brothers were reach the bus stop, there was a hill behind the bus stop, and so all the rocks fall onto the bus stop. I was so afraid that this is 2012, but I think and think again, if this is not 2012, then what is that mean? Should it be I feel that nobody is beside me now? Will I ever get support from anyone?

Crap without Meaning

Yesterday, I had finished 'When Heaven Burn' and I cried. Woah! How sad is the feeling of flashback related to something that you cannot forget. It is our memories. From childhood to adulthood. It means a lot to an individual but not others. I understand what I feel, but do you really understand how I feel? Even though I understand how I feel, sometimes I can't describe it.

Piece by piece, it flash through my mind, I don't know what I want to share. It's hard to understand one's mind. I can't even control my own mind. =/

A Letter to Myself

I don't want to sleep, I feel like going to do something I like. But I wish there is someone who can accompany me to do so. Like going for a hike? If I willing to step out one step, I think I can even do it alone. I just can't do thing alone. Sigh! This is the worst behavior I never throw away until today.

Another thing is, song is used to express feelings. Do you understand the feeling of your friends? Imagination plus a song, can you feel your friend's feel when you mix the two things? I want to talk about this actually, but I don't want to blame anyone for not knowing the deep feeling of another. Nobody is perfect. Even a doctor will never know another person thought. Just stop talking about your feeling towards something you don't like instead of continuing telling others about your "negative" opinion.

Sometimes, I just can't stop thinking about my past. I know past is not a reason for us to run away from reality or from our life. But I am just a normal human, I trying so hard to forget about it. But I not really willing to let go. It's what I left in my memories, my memory for me to remember who am I and what I lost.

Crapping all these and nobody will understand what am I crapping. Haha! This blog is really for me myself only. =/

A place for me to talk about my thought? Anyway, all of these are just things that I telling myself. It means nothing to anyone else but just me.

名与利

阿名哥，为什么你有这么多的粉丝，每天追你追个不停？
我把你追啊追，追得我好累。不想再继续追下去了。
好累。
都该是时候换换我的风格，是时候去追寻人生，好过追你这没用的东西。

阿利哥，你就不好，天天找别人陪你就是偏偏没找上我的门儿来。
好不公平。

我决定！时机到了。。。该追寻人生!